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alrightokmimi
i will be home sunday to shoot my next film. crew/friends are joining and helping me out. anyone else is free to come over and chill and check shit out, as long as they don't break nothing or distract me from my film. i can't freaking wait.
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1. trust less people. i had to interview some people for a scriptwriting assignment and i interviewed my dad. i look up to my dad a lot and i realized how little people he trusts and i think i will do the same from here on out. because i trust too easily and it ends poorly for me everytime, so i just won't trust anyone anymore. that way maybe someday won't be inferior.

2. i realized how easily taken advantage of and manipulated i am and i'm trying to fix that. because really its not fun anymore.

3. i'm going to try to credit myself more. i mean, i don't really know how to determine how much credit i deserve for a certain assignment or whatever that i did, but comparing myself to everyone else sure doesn't help. i just need to throw myself a bone every once in awhile.

4. confidence will always be a work in progress, but a confident person is always pleasant and successful.

5. i will not settle for making a shit film. not now not never. i will make art that i am proud of.

6. drink more water, i'm awfully dehydrated.

7. swear less, i have the mouth of a sailor, and that just isn't lady like.

8. disregard boys. don't need them, right?

9. no more procrastinating. just do shit and life will be so much happier.

10. stress less because it gets me nowhere.

11. maybe i should eat healthier too, but there's no way in hell i could ever pass up a delicious grilled cheese.





and i feel so cinematic right now. this is life and this is good.
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i sure don't want to offend anybody, but life at school is way greater than life at home.
i am about fifty times happier here. so does that make this home?
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i will take you and leave you alone.


maybe one day i'll show some initiative, right? nope.
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going back to school gets two thumbs up.
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i have completed my first quarter of college. i'm done with everything minus screenings. my film screens from 3:50-4 sunday afternoon, right after gordie's and ira's. i'm so nervous. skip liked my film a lot though, so at least i got that going for me. i can't wait to go home and see everyone again. i miss hanging out with people who actually know me.
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no, seriously. why am i such an asshole.
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its weird to think of us as people.
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this weekend i spent almost 30 hours in the freezing cold rain on set with my senior mentor doing bitch work and seeing how real films get done. I'm definitely really sick and really over tired. i slept through class this morning and i'm pissed at myself for it. friday we were on set from 6PM to 4:30AM, saturday and sunday both lasted from 6PM to 2:30AM. there's a few things that i learned from being on set this weekend. one is that if you're going to work in the film industry or be a film major, you better love what you do. the other thing i learned is that i love what i do.
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i.
am.
fucking.
beat.
i.
need.
some.
fucking.
sleep.
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